at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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