it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
