Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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