Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
