I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
