Can i not drive my cunt home
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize