he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize