I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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