goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If I had your ass I would rule the world
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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