I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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