i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
