I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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