If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
