Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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