I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
