Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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