I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
