I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
