its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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