you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
