I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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