He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
