So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
