I am full of burrito and curiosity
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
