I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
