At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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