Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize