@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
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I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
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She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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