Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
