you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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