i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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