good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
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After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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