God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize