I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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