I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
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I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
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Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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