My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I currently don't understand fingers.
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