I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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