ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize