okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
