Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
