I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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