if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
