Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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