i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
