I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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