Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I party with great urgency now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
