When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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