A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
