why didn't you poke me back
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
