I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
