Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
