Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
