____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
