the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
