I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize